It's a killer for sure. A killer that screws up your training, eating, sleeping and so many more things all to murder your plans that you had so nicely laid out. I won't lie... the last two months have been incredibly stressful and have got in the way of so many things. Everything from emergency surgery for one of my kids, problems at school thereafter. Problems with school (don't get me started on this). Everything from beer-flu outbreaks, to my youngest being verbally assaulted in the street by another parent. Police, family drama with my elderly nan, through to 4hr e/w commutes due to idiots behind the wheels of their cars, and insanely busy work and highly volatile times in my investment markets have been my experience of the world since the start of September. This is just a snapshot of the last few weeks and it's certainly causing issues with my training.
I manage stress pretty well. I'm still Wim Hof'ing (use the search tool if you want to know more about this); I'm taking 'mindful breaks' where I can (which is really another name for the 5 minutes I get to spend alone on the toilet each morning); and I am doing my best to grab a few minutes a couple of times a week in the hot-tub. ...All of which does help. If I didn't have these things then I'd probably be found each evening either hugging my knees, or losing my shit daily. And I know I am not alone...
This type of period is not uncommon when you are a working family, with high pressure work roles as parents, and with children. Yes, it's true I do not suffer fools gladly. In my world, if you are paid to, and are claiming to, be a professional then you need to be accountable for if you are shit at what you do. When you know you should be doing better but choose not to, that's a problem. And, I'm seeing a world that is making excuses, disposing of it's ownership and responsibility to do 'a good job', and I get frustrated ever more easily at people who put their ego ahead of doing what is right.
When I fuck up, I hold my hands up and want to understand how to get better. What I'm seeing ever more is that when others do so, they deflect, deceive and double-down on the shitness they feel is acceptable. And this causes me stress. And I need to look at that.
The world has gone mental. People are becoming ever more awful. And I can feel myself becoming more intolerant (and less of the best version of myself). And I hate it. But that's as much about me as it is about them. I'm a bright guy. An exceptionally bright one, in fact, however, that can be isolating and stressful when you see the world and it's possibility differently to most; and where you see how easy the fixes can be, but the near pathological egos of people can get in the way of the most simple changes people can make to fix it. I accept I could well be in the wrong to expect the world to do its job when I do mine, but that should be left to be on them to learn, rather than me to teach (especially when I'm not being paid for it). Maybe it's a question of taking on too much? But that's me. Just read the blog from where I started all this. I'm no stranger to pushing my boundaries. But I am guilty of expecting others to want 'better' too.
Truth be told, I am probably making this harder than I need to at times. Ignorance can indeed be bliss, so I'm working on letting go a bit quicker rather than holding someone's feet to the fire just because they are incompetent (though recent events have involved the safety and wellbeing of vulnerable people I care deeply about, so i will continue to fight those fights until I get the outcome that ensures the best outcomes for them).
I will aim to focus more on being all the things I can be, and take back the power I have been giving away to events and circumstances where idiocy, and the selfishness of others is getting in my way. I have a HUGE undertaking to prepare for. Something most will never willingly take on from the starting point I'm at. I need my sleep. I need to avoid stress getting in the way of my recovery and eating. I need to ensure I make the time to run more than I am. I've allowed too much of life to get in my way right now. Granted, it builds resilience but too much is a harmful distraction. I will protect my focus, and guard my time and attention better... and i will get out and do what I need to. Rant over. Thanks for reading...
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