Goals are great. You set one, you reach the point where you have the opportunity to take your shot. You take it. And then you land it. Time to celebrate, because that's what it was all about. Getting the goal. That's when you feel like your life has turned around, where you have reached the apex of all you thought was possible. You've obsessed over it, lost sleep over it, beat yourself up over it. And now life is going to be better, because you reached it.... ...Right?
I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting over this. Was the success my first ultra? My first ultra run? My first 100km? Will it be my next challenge? What then? Am I not successful if I were to come up short?
What happens if I don't achieve a goal? Am I a failure? Am I worth less? I mean, if I achieve a goal it must mean I'm worth more for having achieved it, right? Otherwise what was the point?
This is the problem I have with goals. They're often incredibly binary. Achieve it, you're awesome. Fall short, you're clearly lacking. And that is so far from the truth it is almost ridiculous. It's this that builds a massive fear of failure, drives anxiety to new heights, and can have us push far too hard too fast. I've been as guilty as the next person of this thinking, despite 'knowing better' from everything I've learned over decades about performance. I know better, but I still bought into the lie that it's all about the victory celebration at the end. The reality is that it's not. We are taught to admire the victor. To want to hold the trophy aloft, hear the rapturous applause. All so we can validate that we not only 'good enough', but better than others.
The real truth is success is always in the journey. It's the path taken to get to the start line of a main event. It's the hours, days, weeks, months, years of effort to move you forward. It's in the growth along the way towards a goal you've set that truly matters.
We live in a causal universe. Cause and effect. Put something in, get something out. To reach a high quality outcome, we need to figure out and put in high quality inputs. The journey determines the outcome and that is where we need to put our attention.
This blog has been about my inputs. Granted, I've had goals and outcomes in mind; but, these were never in isolation as it's always been about the journey. What I do, what I learn, what is helping, what has gotten in the way, what is going right, what is going wrong. I've felt the sting of failure in not achieving a target... and I've had times where I lost sight of the success I have had in the work to getting to a point where I could even begin to tackle those big goals.
For two years I've had this 300km Hebrides challenge in mind. It has set the direction and choices I've made. Some necessary, some good, some that have yielded less than desirable outcomes. And that is where success lies. Small changes applied consistently over time. The habits I've built and continue to build upon to get me to that start line and see how far I can go on the day. There will be variables that I can't control. Injury, weather, logistics, kit failures, etc. You cannot control everything that is outside of you. Shit can very much still happen. My last ultra was a classic example. I had no idea I would end up with mild heatstroke. I was in the best shape so far, was moving quicker than ever before, but the surprise heat on the day, and my lack of ability to deal with it, folded me. Most of it out of my control. I chose to see it as a test of my commitment not to take an ill-advised risk on that challenge. It was after running the full 100km with an injury from the start last year that led to my missing my chance at the 300 last September. This time I chose to do the right thing. I learned a new habit to listen better, and now I am pushing nicely into my final training block for this year's challenge. Was that decision a Failure or success?
All we can do is give ourselves the greatest chance of a successful outcome. Sometimes it's a steady progression. Sometimes the route to it is up, down, left, right and backwards (in fact it's almost always like this). This is the journey. This is the success. The lessons, the efforts, the small wins, and the habits that get us closer to where we want to get to.
The Power of Habits
I mention habits as these are the foundations to all progress. Positive habits build on themselves. Negative ones limit your ability to move forward. Last year my habits were better than the previous year, which were better than the year before. Eating, training, taking care of myself and rehab/prehab. This year they are another level of improvement again.
This is a huge topic in itself but I will (for now) talk about my little slice for what I am working on and towards.
Habits are about consistency. Consistency of positive actions that enable us to move easier towards positive outcomes (quality input = quality output). Last year I was becoming fitter and leaner, but my habit of consistent training unravelled entirely after injury meaning I had to take 6 months out of any running at all. This was caused by a negative habit I had from pushing too hard and through any problem (in this case, running 100km on a f*cked up ankle). Last year I tried what I thought might work best with my eating, vs this year finding out exactly how my body responded to food (the Zoe programme) and my gut health. Now I eat consistently clean, with all the foods that I now know benefit me, and less of those that don't. Not only this but, I can still eat some of the unhealthier options that I enjoy if I structure how I eat differently, based on how my body actually responds to specific foods. I learned how *I* work. Not all carbs, fats, etc are the same for me. A calorie is not simply a calorie and the combinations of what I eat make a HUGE difference. This is now a Habit. It is now just the way I eat.
As a result, my weight is down from 110kg in January to 96kg as of today. A positive outcome from a positive habit.
My sleep has improved after building a new habit of a minimum 7 hours every night. This has meant more consistent energy, despite working with higher stress the last few months, higher intensity training, and with more frequency (now training 5-6 days per week). My training has raised a level. Before, I had built a big endurance base almost exclusively training zone 2 (Maffetone style). Now my training is much more 80/20 split with 80% zone 2 and 20% Zone 4-5. As a result the strength is improving but is being balanced with recovery. The outcome is faster, further and less Achilles injury issues than I've had in a looooong time.
I enter the next 8 weeks of progressive training which will be building in intensity and volume on a better foundation than I had last year. Working towards the consistency I committed to after the car crash summer of last year. The new training habits I've worked on the last month I can now feel becoming more embedded. I'm now focusing on the habit of taking better care of myself and the niggles I have; and committing to better consistency in cool downs, strength, and mobility.
I am now in the habit of listening better to my body. If I'm feeling burnt or the niggles flare up then I ease back, deal with the problem right away, and stop pushing to a breaking point. I can save the hard pushing-through-pain for the challenge itself, but now is not the time to risk breakdowns. This means I'm in the habit of making better decisions. While in isolation, each new habit is pretty unremarkable. It is the stacking of positive habits that I can see where the magic is happening. Many small improvments lead to a much larger overall outcome. This is the strategy, this is the plan, this is the way. Thanks for reading.
Comments