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  • Richard Cash

103. Wk 16 - Ass Wars... A New Hope


The battle to fix my ass has seen me take a long and arduous path. The 'Heroic Journey' personified through the ongoing saga of innocence-to-pain-to-suffering-to-fear-to-today... I am mid 'challenge' stage soon to reach 'death and rebirth' and finally working towards atonement. Like the plot of good books and movies through the years, the last 4 months have (quite literally) had me on the edge of my seat in this phase of my adventure.


This week's training update is that I now have a new hope (see what i did there? ;-))...

At this stage it's just a glimmer. The last two weeks have been tough on me mentally as the first 50K ultra looms large. I have 21 training days left before it. That's very little time for training and getting back to the distances I need to be putting in each week to get me through the 50. How that 50 goes will impact me directly for the 100K I run just a month later. I have 1 week to recover from the 50, 1 big 35K long run after that and then I begin my taper to the 100.


This has not been lost on me. In fact, it has been the overriding thought in my mind the last two weeks. It has kept me up at night. It has seen me despondent, frustrated, angry and upset. All in all, it's been pretty shit.


But there's hope... It may be a fool's hope, but there's hope nonetheless. Not one to give up easily, even though I've felt the way I have, I've carried on rehab at home as well as with the Physio and Osteo. After getting my back further clicked and released, I took it upon myself to dust off the dreaded Shakti Mat...

This fiendish little bastard of a contraption is excellent. Brilliant in fact, but also very VERY painful. Basically it's a roll-out bed of nails... Stand on it to to hit acupressure on your feet. Roll the mat over a foam roller to target your legs. Lie on it to hit your back... or, if you feel brave enough, lay it on a hard floor and then sit bare-ass on it... I did... And it was brutal.


Immediately your body screams at you to get off and make it stop. Thousands of plastic needles digging onto a very tight and very sensitive part of your body. ** Note: If you do it bare-ass, and you're a guy, then take GREAT caution to ensure that your 'jewels' are covered... This caught me out... it will not do so again **


The principle is simple... Create extreme concentrated pressure into the muscle fascia across hundreds/thousands of close-together points, and you'll stimulate blood-flow. Once you go numb from the pain (about 4 minutes, unless you move and then you feel it all over again), you will feel the area start to get very warm from the hugely increased blood flow. If it's your ass, then you'll probably feel it throbbing with each heartbeat.

When you cross that point the pain disappears. Stay with it for about 10 minutes, then carefully get off. It'll likely leave hundreds of tiny pin-prick bruises on the skin, but extreme times call for extreme measures. This was a nuclear option.


It's easier across a large surface area, because you spread the weight wider. When you sit on the thing, it hits hard. But, 'sweet Mary, Joseph and the wee Donkey' it works. Having done this the evening after my Osteo (and my last post), I woke up the following day and my locked up SI joint entirely unlocked!


A dramatic and very loud ripping open sensation and sound, and instant relief! It was like a spoon being run up and down a washing/scrubbing board.


I knew in that moment it was a key piece of the rehab puzzle that needed to happen. That evening I was back on the bastard-shakti-mat in order to loosen the muscles around the hip that reacted immediately to the hip/pelvic/SI joint release. This allowed me to run a very easy 5Km the following day and then again the day after. Small mileage, sure, but it felt so much better than it had been. I've managed to run twice more since last weekend with a couple more 5ks and I'm feeling better about attempting 25km on Sunday. Fingers crossed it will go well, and I'll be on the bastard-shakti mat the next couple of evenings to continue the progress.


Wish me luck... Thanks for reading.



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